Friday, September 24, 2010


This article at Single Dad Laughing is really, really amazing.  The desire to appear perfect all the time is something that I struggle with all of the time.  I've come to understand that all it does is make life harder for you & alienates you from other people, because you can't be your wonderful, imperfect self with them.  I've been so worried about appearing perfect at times that it paralyzes me, & I can't tell even the people I love the most what's wrong or ask for help, because I'm afraid of looking weak & exposing my flaws.  It's no way to live!

It's so much easier to own up to your weaknesses & address them, which allows you to begin to let them go.  & it really is easier...keeping your worries & fears pent up all the time is exhausting!  The stress of it all takes a toll on you emotionally & physically.  & really, no one expects you to be perfect, & you're not fooling anyone when you try to seem that way!  Just let go & you will learn how much happier you can be when you are true to yourself.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

the importance of being well-heeled


I love shoes of all kinds, but heels have a very special place in my heart. For most of my teenage years I eschewed them entirely, preferring the comfort of flip-flops and sneakers. Even then, however, they held a certain fascination for me. A pair of stiletto-heeled hiking boots lurked at the back of my closet (& they were fabulous, even though I hardly wore them!). Part of my reluctance to wear high heels came from insecurity about my considerable height (5'11") and size 11 feet (those fab shoes were too small & uncomfortable!). Once I grew up a bit & developed an unembarrassed interest in fashion, I went heel-crazy. I started buying up all the size 10's that I could squeeze my feet into. I still didn't wear them that often (they didn't really fit) but I was accumulating more and more of them. Then, all of a sudden, one slushy day I realized that I'd made it through most of the winter without once putting on my winter boots.

At first, I felt a little silly while I changed out of my four-inch patent black pumps & into my absolutely hideous boots and shoveled my front porch. But then, I stopped feeling silly, & started feeling proud. While everyone else had given up & retreated into knee-high, flat, rubber-soled boots, I had continued to strut down the icy streets like they were a catwalk, turning heads while my own was held high.

& that's what high heels are to me. They make me stand up straight & feel proud & confident even when I'm doing something foolish. They make me want to strut up & down the hall in front of a mirror, admiring my own legs. When I wear heels I feel like I am the center of attention, like I am powerful.

This is why every girl should have a pair of absolutely fabulous sky-high heels! For a girl who forgets how wonderful & beautiful she really is, a pair of heels reminds her how it feels to be confident. The next step (sorry about the pun) is to feel that way every hour of every day, even when you are shoveling snow in your heinous rubber boots!

So what do you do if you don't own a single pair of heels, or a few pairs that you just never wear? You don't have to suddenly start wearing four-inch heels all day, every day. In fact, you shouldn't, because you can end up doing damage to your feet, particularly your toes & Achilles' tendon. For every hour you spend in heels, you should spend at least another hour flat-footed.  Usually I just go barefoot when I'm at home!

The thing to do is to go hunting for your perfect pair of shoes! There are a few things to keep in mind, especially if you've never bought heels before.

by Peep Toe Shoes

The first thing you should be concerned with is fit. No matter how gorgeous a pair of shoes is, no matter how great they make you feel when you first put them on, if you end up with sore feet all you will feel at the end of the night is regret! & we all want to live with no regrets, right? I had a pair of gorgeous shoes that made me feel awesome & got tons of attention, but once after wearing them for a whole day I ended up with nerve damage that kept me from feeling my toes for two months! The compliments were not worth the pain! Uncomfortable is one thing, painful is another, & don't forget to be kind to your feet, because they carry you all day long while you run around living your fabulous life!

Here are some really good tips for when and how to shop for heels!  And in case you are afraid that you won't be able to walk in your heels, take a look at this! (And listen to her advice about not driving in heels!  It is a terrible idea!)

The next thing to consider is how much you really, truly love those shoes! Don't buy a pair of black pumps just because you know they'll go with everything and boys like them (even though it is important to have a good pair in your wardrobe eventually!). Don't buy a pair of military style boots just because they're in Cosmo! Find shoes that you, YOU, not your boyfriend or your mom, are completely & madly it-must-be-fate in love with! It doesn't matter if they're navy blue with bows or hot pink with straps and studs! The practical, wear-them-every-day shoes can wait, what you need right now is a pair that makes you feel like a million bucks.

Marie Antoinette-inspired shoes by Christian Louboutin

& that's the third point. Even if when you look at them they are the cutest, most to-die-for things you have ever seen, if you put them on & suddenly feel like you could never, ever face the world in these shoes, then put them right back on the shelf! (Or you could buy them & make them into an awesome art piece) The point of this whole exercise is to find a pair of shoes that make you feel like you can take on the world, not ones that make you feel like you have to hide from it.  If that means you buy the itty bitty kitten heels instead of the crazy platforms, that's perfectly okay!

The aim here is really to find a pair of shoes that is completely & totally you. They should reflect your personal quirks & more importantly, when you wear them you should feel the way you want to feel all the time! So go find your perfect pair, and then wear them in, wear them out, wear them while you dance in front of your mirror & wear them for first dates! Revel in the feeling they give you and try to capture that feeling all of the time!

So tell me, what do your favorite pair of heels look like? What about your first ever pair?

Love <3